In this life

My life is nothing anymore
All torn to shreds.
The pieces are scattered
and I can't find them.
I've just given up on looking.
Why you ask?
The pieces I lost are so valuable
but they're impossible to find.
I'll just start over
a new me.
So far it's a worse me.
I've lost all sense of direction
and heading into the unknown.
What will I run into along the way?
Will I be saved?
or will I break and end up killing myself?
All I want is to be isolated

Monster part 2

I am
Still a drug addict
Still a failure
Still a monster.
I was clean for three months
I was proud of myself.
Then I had a relapse.
I need help
from anyone
I just want help.

I'm at the bottom still
I haven't made any progress
Almost out of the darkness of my own pit
and I fell back in
The question I keep asking myself is
When am I going to start climbing again?
When is my depression going to come back?
How bad will it be this time?
Will I end things?
or just continue with all the shit from people around me?
Help

Monster part 1

I am
a failure
a drug addict
a monster.

I'm throwing my life away
doing nothing in school
blowing off everything
just going because i have to.

I smoke after school
and on the weekends.
I'm getting addicted.
The booze
the cigarettes
the weed
all need to end
but they comfort me so much.
It's too hard to quit at this point.
They're bad but I need them.

Before I fall asleep I look at myself in the mirror
and ask myself
"What have I become?"
I've become what I never wnted to be
and yet
I like the new me.